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Sunday, 17 April 2016

Teeth (2007) review by Eric Hyde.

"It's true. Vagina dentata! Vagina dentata! Vagina dentata!" - Doctor Godfrey.

*Contains minor spoilers*.

Alright. The plot is simple. Weird, original (I'll give it that), and simple. It is the story of a high school girl named Dawn whose vagina is filled with razor sharp teeth. Yeah , you read it. I have seen previews and have heard a lot of my friends tell me to see this. Granted they told me it wasn't really good, but I still had to see it. I didn't.

The movie starts with Dawn, and she is part of a club at school for people who wait until marriage to have sex. She goes and speaks to younger kids and tells them about promise rings, abstinence and such. She meets a boy who also promises to wait until marriage, and they eventually become a couple. One day they go swimming together and find a cave to fool around in. He tries to rape her, but she fights him off. However, she smacks her head on a rock during the struggle and becomes dazed. He takes advantage and is successful in raping her. Suddenly *CRUNCH* he loses his penis (sigh). Yup. This goes on for the rest of the movie.

She finally meets a guy who can have sex with her, since it's consensual and in a relaxed state. But when she finds out he's using her, he loses it too (sigh again). Oh, and her step brother also wants to have sex with her. He does and loses it. But his dog has a snack afterwards, if you can read between the lines.

Let's see. The acting isn't great. The story is interesting, but the explanation of the cursed vagina is stupid in my opinion. All the camera shots to the things that resemble holes or dicks are overplayed. Like holes in trees, spikes in caves hanging down. Once or twice would have been fine, but it's constant overkill here. However, the gore is pretty good and will make a guy wince. I did a few times. No lie. But it isn't good enough to save this movie for me. If you're still interested, I say go for it. It might be for you, but it wasn't for me.

Don't forget to check out and subscribe to Eric Hyde's Youtube channel Hey, Internet Eric Here. Great reviews and great vlogs. Do it!

Friday, 8 April 2016

Hardcore Henry (2016) review by Dani Carnage.

I've just got back from seeing Hardcore Henry, and it is simply mind-blowing. I say this as bluntly and without any form of pretense. It is a fresh, violent and bloody take on action-cinema that successfully pulls off something completely different, which in this day and age is a feat in itself.

I am not going to give anything away, as it works so much better knowing very little about the film, suffice it to say that if you aren't a fan of uncompromising violence, humour and films shot in the first person, then you would be well-advised to stay away, as this is Hardcore Henry in a nutshell.

I recently posted on Facebook that Hardcore Henry is now my favourite action movie, knocking The Raid 2 into second place. While The Raid 2 is an incredible film with complex characters, fight scenes and brutal violence, Hardcore Henry just seemed to top it all in every single way.

Pure pulse-pounding adrenaline-soaked madness from start to finish. Hardcore Henry is the best cinema-going experience I have had so far this year. It's even better than Deadpool. It's that good, and it doesn't need multiple uses of profanity to attempt to make the film more 'adult'.

Everything you want in an action movie is contained in Hardcore Henry, and there are numerous nods to FPS games such as Half Life, Call of Duty and even Left for Dead. Bullets and fists fly and many die. The body-count is incredibly high, as is the gore quota.

I honestly can't praise this movie enough. I loved every single second and urge each and every one of you to check it out! You won't be disappointed!!

Darkest regards......Dani.

Sunday, 27 March 2016

American Guinea Pig: Bouquet of Guts and Gore (2015) review by Dani Carnage.

Wow. I really cannot find a better word to describe how I felt after my first viewing of this film. It left me feeling uneasy, nauseated, and nearly left me void of food, as the nausea increased countless times during the disturbing and realistic goings-on). If that isn't a mark of excellence, then I don't know what is, and you are definitely reading the wrong blog.

Horror comes in many different forms, be it films that chill, scare, repulse or create feelings of dread and sadness. American Guinea Pig: Bouquet of Guts and Gore manages to bring all of these feelings into a seventy minute time frame and add a level of sadism and realism rarely seen in horror cinema (not since August Underground's Mordum has a film had such a profound effect on me).

At its most simplistic, AGP: Bouquet of Guts and Gore is the story of two women, one religious and one athiest who are kidnapped, drugged and then systematically dismembered by a beast of a man in a Baphomet mask, all the while being filmed by a crew who instruct the man how and when to systematically dismember the two women. I guarantee you've never seen anything like this.

I consider myself somewhat desensitised to whatever horror/splatter films can throw at me. Well, after seeing this and feeling like I had my stomach ripped out, cut open and the contents presented to me on a platter of splatter, I won't be so foolhardy in the future. AGP: Bouquet of Guts and Gore managed to repulse me, make me cringe, it very nearly made me look away from the screen and it haunted me. There are nice little touches in the film that are there to make the whole experience so much darker, such as mentions of religion, threats and an ending that is actually more affecting and chilling than any of the dismemberment shown on screen. I really felt sick to my stomach (yes, I know it isn't real, but that doesn't stop the emotional impact the last scene has. Perhaps being a parent made it even more hard-hitting).

If Flowers of Flesh and Blood got you wincing and shielding yourself from the viscera on-screen, then AGP: Bouquet of Guts and Gore is probably not going to be your sort of thing. What it does it take the very essence of that particular Guinea Pig film, and turns everything up to eleven and then doubles it again. Even if you enjoy blood, gore and dismemberment, this film breaks so many boundaries it makes the works of Olaf Ittenbach look like episodes of Friends (and I am a huge Ittenbach fan, so I mean no offence).

Put simply, American Guinea Pig: Bouquet of Guts and Gore is at a level where no one has reached before. It pushes and breaks boundaries in every direction, contains more gore than an explosion in a cattle shed and coupled with all of the viscera, is one of the most psychologically affecting pieces of extreme cinema I have witnessed.

Darkest regards......Dani.

Collar (2014) review by Dani Carnage.


A few weeks ago, I finally got hold of a copy of Ryan Nicholson's 'Collar'. After thouroughly enjoying Live Feed, Gutterballs and Hangar, I was looking forward to seeing what Plottdigger films had to offer. I was surprised at just how mean spirited and utterly depraved Collar is, and it is all the better for it.

Collar follows a hulking homeless man named 'Massive' (played to perfection by Nick Principe), who has a reputation for Satanism and extreme violence, on his trail of murder and abuse. A rookie cop is held against her will by Massive, but this is only the start of her nightmare and of Massive's ritualistic abuse and torture'.

Nothing could have prepared me for what Collar shows on screen. While Hangar pushed the boundaries with gross-out humour which worked with the paralell of gruesome shocks, Collar ditches the humour altogether. This is a horror film that excels in making the viewer feel like they are experiencing something very 'wrong'. The grime, brutality and debauchery present in this film seeps from every frame. This is a film that violates your senses in every way possible, and does not let up through its running time.

The brutality in this film will be uncomfortable viewing for many, but I can't help but feel that is the point. Horror films work better when the directors pull no punches, allowing the viewer to feel like they are in the hands of a madman, not able to second guess what is going to happen next. Not only does Collar succeed in this respect, but it pushes so many boundaries that it becomes a test of endurance just to make it to the end.

Collar is the perfect film for horror fans who are bored by the recent crop of CGI ghosts and such like. Its horrors are real, and there are no punches pulled. While it might not be for everyone, it is for those who like to see boundaries broken again and again. Although it may feel like you need to shower to wash the filth off you after viewing Collar, it is a fantastic film and manages to fit so much depravity into a 70-plus minute running time, it'll leave you breathless and disgusted.

Darkest regards......Dani.

P.S There is an Indiegogo campaign to help Ryan, Meg and Tyler Nicholson. I implore you to go over and read about the campaign and share/donate/ if you can. There are only four days left, so lets do all we can to help reach the target!

To check out the indiegogo and either share or donate (or do both) just click HERE.

Thursday, 24 March 2016

The Man with the Screaming Brain (2005) review by Eric Hyde.

"Sounds like there is some shizzle going on down there my nizzle" -Pavel.


The name of the film says it all. It's a B-movie, so it makes perfect sense to have the king of B-movies, Bruce Campbell, to star in, write and direct it. Bruce plays William, who is on a business trip with his wife in Bulgaria. They end up hiring Yegor to be their taxi driver for the day. On one of their trips through town, they drive through a Gypsy town which is a small community of, what else, Gypsy's. They almost run over one woman, that is revealed to have once been engaged to Yegor. She is also the housekeeper of the hotel William and his wife are staying at.

William catches her stealing a ring he bought for his wife. He chases her outside the hotel, but she ends up nearly killing him with a severe blow to the back of the head, taking off part of his head as well. Yegor sees this and ends up getting killed by her. William dies in the hospital later. Across town, Dr. Ivanov (wonderfully played by Stacey Keach) and his sidekick Pavel are trying to make brain transplants on humans successful. They hear of William and Yegor's death and decide to steal their bodies to make the operation work. Lo and behold, it does. Now both William and Yegor's thoughts occupy William's body. They must work together to find the woman who killed them and get revenge, but they also must deal with  getting ill, due to them sharing the same brain cells.

This is obviously a homage to those cheesy sci-fi movies from the 1950s, by the way it was written and shot. The budget was almost non-existent, but it worked. The acting was surprisingly good. Bruce is in top form as always, and throws in a lot of slap-stick (circa Evil Dead II) when he has to fight with Yegor for control of what is now their body. Everyone else is in fine shape acting-wise as well. Very well done all-round.

On a side note, I know Bruce is the star, but Ted Raimi as Pavel owns the movie. He talks in a Snoop Dogg-type dialogue and is so funny. I can honestly say I busted up EVERY time he was on screen (trust me on this). So in closing, I say this movie was surprisingly a great way to spend 90 mins. Worth checking out or even owning.

Wednesday, 16 March 2016

Devour (2005) review by Eric Hyde.



                                   "Wake me up from this nightmare... please" - Jake.

"A straight-to-DVD horror movie." You hear that and nothing special comes to mind. You think it will be a low...low budget movie full of bad acting and horrible effects. Now bad acting and low budget effects don't really matter to me all that much, if it's entertaining. Hell, I'm a fan of certain Troma movies for Christ's sake. Devour actually turned out to be pretty good.

Jake (played by Jensen Ackles of Supernatural fame) often has visions/daydreams of violence, murder, self-mutilation and doesn't know why. On his 21st birthday, his best friend signs him up for a computer game called The Pathway. If something bad happens to you, you get a phone call, and things are supposedly "made right." Jake loses his job, and on the phone, tells whoever is calling him that he wants his boss killed. Now this doesn't happen, but his boss is robbed. When he calls the cops and blames it on Jake, the cameras show that the boss was behind it all, when Jake is of course innocent.

Jake finds out his best friend and his girlfriend are also playing The Pathway. However, their phone calls are reminding them how horrible their lives are, leading to murder and suicide. Eventually, everyone Jake comes into contact with is being affected.
*SPOILER* Jake finds out that the Devil is behind this, (the reason is revealed later), as the Pathway is also a connection to our world and Hell.

Okay. Sure the premise sounds hokey, and it seems like a rip-off of the Edward Furlong movie, Brainscan. There isn't too much difference. However, the acting is much better (sorry Furlong fans). The production value is surprisingly good, considering that this was straight-to-DVD. There's also some nice gore. When all is revealed, it does leave a little to be desired however. But overall, I did really like the ending. Not the best, but good nonetheless.

I was expecting crap, since I only heard of this movie due to reading a brief thing about it in an old issue of Fangoria. But I ended up pretty pleased. Would I buy it? Eh....if it was cheap at Wal-Mart or Best Buy, most likely. But not if it was full price. Totally worth a watch and a fun way to kill 90 minutes.

Tuesday, 8 March 2016

Is it a blessing or a curse?

I have to admit something. Something that, with me being a huge horror fan, you wouldn't think would happen to me. I have only ever found one horror film scary. Nothing has managed to create the feeling of relelntless terror and fear that I used to get watching this movie. I will never forget walking around our local video store (who always seemed to store the horror movies where children couldn't reach them) and seeing a pale white mask on the cover of a film called Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers. I then saw the trailer for the film, and remember how scared I got just by the music alone. I even remember what video label I saw the trailer on (it was Braveworld) even though I can't remember the name of the film I was watching. Anytime from that moment on I saw I had rented a Braveworld video, I would forgo the trailers to avoid putting myself through nearly having a heart attack (which is what it felt like whenever that damn theme would begin).

Move forward a few years, and my family recieved a load of videos, and many of them contained two horror films which had been recorded from when they were shown on TV. One of them had John Carpenter's Halloween and The Alchemist on it. My stepfather, who seemed to enjoy stopping me doing things I would enjoy, told my mum not to let me watch Halloween as it was 'supernatural' (this was a sure-fire way of making my mum not allow me to watch a film, as she is Christian). Amazingly though, when my stepfather went out and my mum was cleaning, I asked if I could watch Halloween, and to my surprise she said yes (perhaps me telling her it was no worse than Friday the 13th part 6, where Jason is obviously a reanimated corpse went someway to allowing this). As soon as that sparse theme began playing, my heart pounded in my ears and I felt feint. I had heard metal bands that made me sit up and feel nervous, such as Kreator (Toxic Trace), Venom (In League with Satan), Slayer (the entire Hell Awaits album) and Celtic Frost (The Usurper), but never had a single instrument made me feel so fearful. I managed to watch the whole film, but did make numerous trips to the bottom of the stairs to ask my mum if she was ok.

John Carpenter's Halloween scared me for many years. It made me anxious. I would walk up stairs, jumping the last two steps and slam my door behind me. I would refuse to look out of my window at night, thinking I would see a man in that pale blank mask that allowed me to project my fear upon. Each year, on October 31st, I would watch the original Halloween. It was tradition, and it was damned fun being scared. It was only last Halloween, after viewing the film when it was shown at our local cinema that the fear went away.

It then made me realise how disappointed I am that no other horror film has managed to have that effect on me. I began asking myself questions. Why do I watch horror if it doesn't scare me? To answer this, I began my quest to watch different types of horror film. Not just the slashers/gore fests/Troma films I had grown up with. I explored Hammer, Italian cinema and German splatter fests. I watched possession films, films about hauntings, films about true to life murders. I also noticed how these films made me feel very different emotions. While splatter films made me laugh and cheer at the sheer blood and guts they provided, Hammer instilled a very strong feeling of dread, of something very wrong on screen. Italian Cinema was unnerving because of its non-linear storytelling and operatic violence. The supernatural films made me feel uneasy, again feeling like I was watching something that I should not be (and it is arguable that this could be because of the way my mum reacted to supernatural films throughout my childhood).

It then came to me. Horror isn't there just to scare you. Horror is an umbrella term. Not only can it scare you, it can make you feel uneasy, disgust you, provoke anger, disgust as well as joy, excitement, stimulation, empathy, humour and shock. It encompasses so many different emotions, and gives us a release of things that might be playing on our minds. It also allows us to stare death, monsters and pure evil in the face safely and without harm.

What other film genre can stir up so many emotions?